(I) Screwed Up, Saturday

This is a harder post to write. I have been having such great success with using cash instead of plastic; I knocked our credit utilization back over 17%. And then I screwed up.

I got a new card two weeks ago and swore it was for emergencies. Then it arrived in the mail and I made the mistake of putting it in my wallet instead of our safe. I justified it, emergencies happen when you are away from home.

I saw something online and I wanted it. I justified it to myself. I made all the wrong moves, including pulling out that card to pay for it. I spent $100 on my “emergency card” this week for things that were very much non-essentials let alone non-emergencies. I stocked up on beauty products after making a promise to myself to not purchase any for 30 days. Somehow purchasing them with credit online made it easier to ignore the fact that I was acting foolishly.

I feel awful. The guilt is heavy. I can feel it in my chest; it’s hanging around my neck.

I was doing so well! We had our gas cash roll over from week to week! So why did I do this?!

I don’t have answers. I don’t want to waste time trying to make up excuses because there are none that would justify it in the real world. I screwed up. I need to accept responsibility for my actions and take the appropriate steps to overcome it.

First things first, I shorted my cash allowance by $30 this week. I’m guessing I have a few weeks before the bill arrives since I just got the card, so if I continue to save $30 a week I should be able to pay it off in full before the end of the cycle as I had been hoping to do for my first small purchase with the card.

I also need to remember that I am human and I am going to screw up from time to time. I just need to get better about taking ownership and righting my wrongs. This isn’t going to be easy, but hopefully the reminder of this guilt will be enough to stop me in the future.

What do you do when you screw up and make purchases that hurt your success? Any tips for overcoming them? Leave a comment below!

Despite my personal mistake, we are still making huge strides towards success this year! Tomorrow will be our 5th Summary Sunday and I am looking forward to it greatly! I love the process of sitting at my desk with my coffee Sunday mornings and crunching numbers from the previous week.

I’ll see you tomorrow!


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